Squid Archieves
by sponge-fan
Summary: A story on Squidward's life. Special thanks to MK for helping and everyone else on the forum team.


**_Author's Note: _I'm too lazy to write anything. I am alive, it's just that school is literally hell. (Projects... everywhere I go...) cough cough Ya... Anyways, what I'm saying is that don't expect any recent updates anytime soon. When summer comes in that's my writing time. I'm only posting this because it's about... I'd say 3 months overdue. (SO SORRY MK!)**

Squid Archives

"Mommy, can I go outside?"

"Not today, son."

"When can I go out? I want to play..."

"Not now..."

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Squidward awoke to the all too familiar sound of an alarm clock. But not just any alarm clock. A fog horn alarm clock. The second most annoying sound on the earth according to Squidward. And if he knew anything, the most annoying sound would come any minute now...

"AHYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA! Good morning, Gary! IIIIIIIII'MMMMM READY!"

Squidward cringed at the noise. It looked like another day for a migraine.

After getting dressed and having breakfast, Squidward headed towards work. Unfortunately, the yellow headache followed him.

"Hey, SquidysquidsquidysquidysquidsSQUIDWARD!"

Squidward looked down at the invertebrate following him. He loathed his new nickname.

"What do you want from me now, Spongebob?"

"Just a nice conversation!" Spongebob replied, smiling all the time. Squidward frowned as a response. He wasn't in the mood. Then again, he never was...

"I can't wait until we get to work!" commented the perky sponge.

Normally, Squidward would humour his annoying neighbour, but what was the use? That thick head of his couldn't take a hint.

They soon arrived at the Krusty Krab. Probably one of the more hated places Squidward was forced to visit. He and the sponge entered the restaurant. Already Squidward felt a migraine coming on. Not a great sign.

Spongebob ran into the kitchen as Squidward took his place behind the cash register. Mr. Krabs was already inside his office, most likely counting his money.

Squidward could hear the hiss of the stove behind him as Spongebob warmed it up. The noise stuck in his head. So did the ticking of the clock. Every tick seemed like a massive boom.

Soon the entire restaurant was filled with talking people, but Squidward couldn't hear them... his ears were already preoccupied with the yellow, constantly talking headache named Spongebob.

"AndafterPatandIwentjellyfishing,wewenttoSandy'shousetosathitoSandy.IwonderwhatSandywasdoing,Ishouldhaveaskedbutanyway,didyouknowSandyisasquirrle?Imean,alandcreatureunderwater!Howweirdisthat?Andanotherthing..."

By now, Squidward was pretty much suffering a private hell. His migraine was throbbing with every heart beat. Every second was an hour. Every noise was an explosion. The way he figured it, he would be lucky if he wasn't in a mad house by noon.

"Iwonderwhatitislikeonland?whatdoyouthink?Ibetit'sdrymaybeIshouldaskSandy."

_"Shut up,"_ thought Squidward. _"Please, just shut up."_

"IwonderifTexasisanydifferntfromtheotherland.IbetitwouldbedifferentbecauseSandyreallylikesitcomparedtootherplaces."

_"Shut Up!"_

"landlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandlandland..."

"SHUT UP YOU KNUCKLEHEAD!" shouted Squidward to Spongebob. Suddenly he turned around and noticed a woman fish with her son standing in front of the cash register.

"I thought this was a family restaurant!" complained the fish. "Come along, Billy." She marched out of the restaurant.

By common coincidence, that was the same time Mr. Krabs came out of his office. He gasped at the sight of a customer leaving the restaurant.

"What is the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward!" Mr. Krabs yelled at the cashier.

Squidward was unaware that his boss had seen him yelling. "Well, I um you seem uh, what I mean is..."

"Squidward was yelling. If you ask me he seems way too stressed out," said Spongebob rather quickly (and naively).

"Hmmmmm..." said Mr. Krabs, eyeing Squidward. "Squidward, I think Spongebob is right. You are too stressed. It gets to a point."

"What point?" asked Squidward.

"The point where customers are leaving because of you!" Mr. Krabs said hotly. "Listen, I think you should see a psychiatrist. Spongebob saw one once for his fear of Krabby Patties and now he's...normal."

Squidward glared at his boss. "One, I'm not stressed out. Two, the shrink Spongebob saw was really Plankton in disguise, and three, I AM NOT INSANE."

"Look, said Mr. Krabs, clearly irritated by Squidward. "If you don't see one I'll fire you!"

Squidward looked like he was going to reply with a rather rude statement, but he knew it would do no good.

"Fine," he said sourly. "But nothing is going to change."


End file.
